The Fear of Recording Yourself (and How to Overcome It)

0:02 Music Appreciation. What up, what up, what up, let's go over to it here.I have kind of a fun topic today. I want to talk about a few things.

0:19 Number one, what making music feels like to me? And then number two, kind of the zen of creating musicwithin the main key point, the weird simultaneous state of being calm but being focused.

0:43 I want to start with that because that's the good stuff. I don't want to bury the lead. If youlook at really good players, like really, really good players, they are not trying thathard, but they are locked in.

0:59 And I think there's something that could go across any discipline or whatever, but music is the ultimate to me, like example of this. Bernard Purdie, so I wasplaying drums.

1:12 I'm trying to learn the Purdie shuffle, which is a half-time shuffle that Bernard Purdie, an amazing drummer, popularized, tippet, tippet, tippet, tippet, tippet, tippet, tippet, tippet, tippet. It's this cool like groove. If you listen to a lot of my music, I use it oftenbecause I love it, half-time shuffle.

1:34 Anyway, I was trying to learn how to do this and I was so focused, I was pinching my face, my arms were all stiff, I was trying with every bit of my mightto do this. And my drummer friend walked up and he's like, does Purdie look like that when he plays?

1:51 He's like, no, he is, he's just flowing with the music. But there's something specific when youwatch, you know, Bernard Purdie doing like a little demo video or just kind of messing around versusBernard Purdie in the studio. There's some footage on YouTube, but you don't even need to watch it.I'm just gonna break it down for you.

2:10 Basically, he has got, he brings this effortlessness to the studio with a ruthlessness of focus and presence and in the moment. He's simultaneouslyfree and loose and doing his thing while being locked in to the task at hand.

2:27 And he was anotoriously intimidating person to play with because if you had to do a second take, it was your fault not his. That wasn't because he was all stiff. That wasn't because he was all serious.He was neither of those things. He was like enlightened.

2:49 So that's where I want to jump off from of this whole concept like Jimi Hendrix saying music is my religion. Yeah, okay. That I knowrubs a lot of people the wrong way, but this is where, to me, it resonates.

3:07 It's a means of both meditation and action. It's something where you're being productive and creative even if you'rejust improvising and the the note is not being recorded and it just dies behind you.

3:24 It's it's this like duality and that that's where I find Zen in the the act, the action ofmaking music, playing music, living music because that's my goal. It's to live music like Paul McCartney. He just lives music. It just comes out of him. It's not always perfect. It's not alwaysgreat. And he's Paul McCartney. So it's like, I think we can cut ourselves a little bit of slack too.

3:51 But there's a difference between just kind of messing around and it's recording time.

3:58 And what I think a lot of people make the mistake of myself included, especially when I waslearning how to record guitar for the first time too, is that you tense up and you think, okay,I got to nail it. But by doing that, you're moving the pendulum too far in one directionthat you almost will forget how to play. You'll at least forget how to be creative.

4:18 And it's finding that sweet spot in between not caring and caring too much, where you're not self-sabotaging,but you're also not being lazy. And that is really hard to find, especially when you're playingeasy things, like you're playing a three-chord song. So I'm recording a three-chord song right now.I really like it. I think it's really cool. It's sad for you guys to hear it.

4:43 But it's hard sometimes to play a three-chord song, to record a three-chord song because you're playingthree chords for like three and a half minutes. Just straight. And you have to bring emotionand vibe, even if there's not really any changes. You're basically playing something you could haveplayed a month, maybe a week, into playing guitar.

5:05 And it's like, yo, I've been doing this for like, you know, well over a decade. It's like not like letting the simplicity bore you and not lettingyour mind drift to other places. Because that's when you'll make a mistake.

5:18 That's when you'll forgetyou'll have a chord two or a chord three, or a wind you'll drift out of the pocket, or just the emotion won't be there. The vibe won't be there of like that section because every section needs tohave a little bit more intensity or a little bit less intensity. It needs to follow that breath ofemotion and dynamic.

5:39 And so like by locking into those things, it helps with the boredom because you're like really trying to find that middle path in between laziness, then being over eager,or being too mechanistic, or self-sabotaging because you're thinking about it too much,

6:01 that middle way. And that's why it feels like zen to me. It's a middle path between, you know,indulging every worldly desire and being an ascetic monk, you know, zen is that middle path,where I know like the mentality is that Zen monks like do nothing, but meditate. They do meditate,but that's not, at least from my understanding, my limited understanding, that's not the point.

6:25 It's supposed to be the middle path, the path between the two extremes of life. And I thinkthere's something beautiful with that with music, of that thing in between two extremes ofpendulum, so really anything. So with all that, I want to talk about what making music feels like to me,

6:41 and I want to talk about the flow state. I've talked about this a lot on the podcast. I'll talkabout a lot more. I want to talk to more musicians about it. But to me, this flow state is the thingthat allows me to be prolific and that allows me to bring joy into my music, and that people ask methat's like, do you have to work off of inspiration? Of course, there's inspiration.

7:00 Of course, there's moments that are like, oh, I got to do XYZ, or I have a melody or something popping in myhead. I have to record it on my phone. Yeah, that exists. But what I really try to do is I want,I try to tap into this alternate part of myself, that flow part of myself, that is like a chestplayer. And the more you exercise that muscle, the more moves you can think ahead.

7:21 And so like in my head, I'll, you know, think of a drum part, but then at the same time, we're making the drum part.I'll think of the other parts, the instruments, and then maybe I'll think of some of the effects,and things that'll be happening in that.

7:32 And then as like, maybe I'm recording the guitar,I'll start thinking of a synth line, or a way that I want to tame some of the resonances, or do saturations, or all this kind of stuff that honestly, I couldn't even write down, because it'smoving so quickly, and it's spiraling so much that I just have to do it.

7:48 And so by getting into that state, where you have all these ideas, and you have all these things, and then you just have to

7:54 act them out. And that's the flow state, because it's like, you're almost, you're accidentally ona moving sidewalk. And there's no way to write down directions for you to find that sidewalk.Again, you just have to keep going down it. And that's the flow state for me, and my whole goalis to tap into that. And it doesn't mean it's always going to be genius work.

8:16 It's like, sometimes it's not very good, but that's not the point. The point is to try and find thosetributaries in that big stream of your subconscious to, you know, again, be like

8:31 aware and present, but not precious, and not lazy. In the moment, it really feels like,sometimes when you come out of those flow states, I know a lot of people feel this,

8:42 you know, timelessness. I just did one. Literally, I was going to record this podcast. And so beforeI did it, you know, a quick little check in on that three-chord song that I was doing two hours later,I haven't opened the door or the window. It's like 85 degrees in here. I haven't had a glass ofwater. And it's like, oh my god, about the podcast. So I got to go back to that.

9:03 Just, but you see how those those things kind of unravel. And I try and indulge it. Like that's that's the that's where the workgets done. And it gets done in this like timeless place. This hyperbolic time chamber of,yeah, this like place in between intention and just like action.

9:21 I know that this is all verykind of Lucy Goosey, but hopefully this connects to something that you have in your life, or at least this is maybe just interesting listening to somebody in the way that they think aboutcreating and making music. It feels awesome because you don't know where it came from all the time.

9:43 And at the same time, it's like again, dualities. You don't know where it came from, but at the sametime, you remember the entire path that you took to get there. You keep climbing up this mountain,and you're kind of creating your own trail, but at the same time, that trail that you're walking down,

10:00 like how are you making that at the same time? You know, there's a there's a creator and createdthing that a lot of musicians talk about. And I definitely feel it where when you're

10:13 walking through a cave with a flashlight, this is something that Sam from Beformer said,and you know, you're just taking one step in front of the other. And that's kind of what it feelslike creating. You're kind of walking with this flashlight. You're not seeing everything, but that'skind of allowing you to continue.

10:29 And by being in that moment, being present, you can you can find an next step. And when you start, you know, finding those next steps, you've exited that flow state,and then you come back another day, or you take a walk, and then you come back and try and find itagain.

10:42 And usually if you it's another muscle, you exercise it, and then you'll be able to access that place more and more often, more and more frequently until it is addictive. And then you endup like me like wanting to go there as much as possible throughout your entire life. And hopefullycreating stuff that other other people enjoy in the process.

10:59 But that's the fundamental like selfishness, but also unselfishness of that middle way calm, yet focused, intentional,not tense, both free and dialed in. And that's the religiosity. The music is my religion kind ofpoint, at least the way that it lands for me.

11:21 And in a way that I feel is impactful to my life and my personality and my outlook on things. Hope you enjoyed this podcast. If you would liketo check out some of my music, this is the fruits of my flow state labor. Go to scoobertdoobert.pizzafor all my links, scoobertdoobert.pizza.

11:41 And yeah, reach out to me if you have any questions, or if you have any ideas for pods or anything like that, would be happy to cover anything,or just have a conversation via Instagram DMs, or Reddit DMs, or email, or whatever. Thanksso much. Talk to you next week.