Imposter Syndrome and Your Musical Purpose

1:13 What's good?Everybody, Scoobert Doobert here today. I want to talk about imposter syndromeAnd what it points to how you can use it to your advantage even though it hurtsBut before I do

1:53 I would be remiss not to talk about the tragedy that Los Angeles is facing right nowI would like for everyoneWith the means that can can give a little bit to check out music cares dot orgM-U-S-I-C-A-R-E-S dot orgDonate if you can or if you need resources and you're a musicianThey are a great place to reach out to they have awards forGetting back on your feet hoping getting health careTalking to somebody

2:33 So definitely check it out music cares. So Ithink that myQuestion about imposter syndrome is rooted from a very similar place asTo purpose for those of you that don't know imposter syndrome is that feeling that I think everybody gets particularly when you're in aField without like wins and losses withoutHey, I shot 40% from the three-point line kind of metricsWhat is good? What is bad?

3:12 You know that is a very flexible term when it comes to music most people would disagreeeven expertsso as a creator

3:26 You naturally will have that nagging feeling of in my bad at this in my wasting my timeAnd the answer might be yesYou know like I look back at some of the music that I've made and the answer was yesBut I needed to make that music in order to get better andMaybe 10 20 years from now. I'll be looking back on the music that I'm making now.

3:49 I don't think so thoughLike because When you pay your dues that voice gets a little quieterWhen you show up to work the next day. It's a little quieter again

4:00 But ultimately the way that I have helped to quiet it for myself is to ask the questionWhy am I making music?Or to put it more externallyBecause that nagging voice is not necessarily a voice of yourselfIt is the voice of the crowd that you are likeWhispering to as it whispers back at you that nagging feeling of judgmentThe reflection of the judgment that you've

4:31 Lashed out on others as well. It's not why am I making music. It's why should anyone care?Isn't there enough music?Why would someone listen to you instead of the Beatles?Or Beethoven?or Bach orHildegarde von Bingen?She's really good.

5:02 I don't knowBut here's my answer Just like a personality just like a fingerprint the music that I make is mine and mine alone andI make music that reflectsthe modern momentThis current experience of being human.

5:23 Well, yes, there are timeless experiences of being human Which is why classic all-time great songs continue to be classic all-time great songs

5:36 But there is also a nuance and it's not just lyrical. It can be the way that you articulate the way that you recordthe way that youChoose the next chordBecausePart of the reason why things end up sounding cheesy is because it becomes so ingrained in your expectation

6:02 And so as music becomes more modern and it continues to try to break more expectationsit leaves behind a cultural wake andMy answer to that nagging question of why?Are you wasting your time?

6:20 Are you good enough?isI need to be closer to the front than the back of that wakeI need to be pushing the envelope in my own way doesn't have to be bizarre Sometimes it will be but like that's my answer is I have to reflect my modern society in a true and honest wayI have to reflect my own

6:44 Creativity in my own perspective in a true and honest way and I need to get outside ofofCultural expectationEnough that people still want to listen to meYou know you're still in the same ocean

6:59 But you're far enough in front or in the middle that you're not getting swept up by that wake ofexpectation becoming cheesyBecoming knownIn the same way that chord progressionsHave a certain lifespan to themThey'll come back aroundBut like there's a duop chord progression you can use it to cool effect because it's it is so knownThink about children's musicThere's a reason

7:32 Why it sounds the way that it does to adult earsBut different to young ears it isn't because it's worseIt isn't necessarily just because it's simpleIt's using the vocabulary of the expectationsRather than pushing further into that wakeI also feel a certain amount of dutyTowards the craft in order to unlock the personalitySo

8:04 For example used to talk about this kind of stuff and I want to put this in my own kind of a spinIf you don't have chopsIf you can't play to the extent of whatever genre you're trying to do whatever you're trying to makeIt's a lot harder for you to transmitYour personality into your fingers or into your wrists or into your feetOr into your vocal cordsYou'd need a certain amount of capability

8:32 So you don't have to think about the technique anymore. You can just do you can just playSome rare individualsAre able to bridge that gap faster than others

8:46 For most people it takes years and years of years of playing a scale over and over and over againUntil you forget the scale and then you know the scaleIn the same wayI can guarantee you I have forgotten more songs that I've written than most people have ever writtenA lot that I never recordedAnd that's not to brag that is justThe way it isAnd I'm going to continue to do that

9:17 Because it's my journey, not yours. It isn't I'm not saying that to say that I'm better than somebody elseI'm saying that to sayBy paying your duesBy giving your share of flesh to the the altar of musicYou canUnlock the ability to play without thinkingTo write without writing and to no longerExperience time as it normally flowsThe idea of the flow stateEntering that inside of music is a truly holy experience

10:03 But I'm only able to do that when I clear away the blocks in my wayLikeIf I don't have the chops to play what I hear in my headNow I'm thinking about playing it rather than the next 15 movesAnd it's funny because I don't know it's not like my music isLikeThat technical or that complicatedIt's not about that. It's about the colorsIt's about the textures.

10:32 It's about how everything relates to the next And when you produce music especially when you do it aloneYou have to think in terms of like a thousand decisions at a timeEvery little thing how muchSybilance how much s's I have in my vocals how I perform it

10:51 Am I going to rewrite this line that I'm currently singing right now in recordingAll of those questions have to be asked and answered decisively and quicklyOtherwise you lose the flow stateAnd when you lose the flow state all of a sudden you're not playing anymoreYou're not being effortlessYou're having to reach into your bag of tricks and find something else that worksIt

11:14 And there's nothing wrong with necessarily doing thatThe creative dance is in between those two statesYou have moments of flow and then moments of slogBut practice and technique and honing andThe pain is all to try to maximize that flow state because it's the fastestIt's the most honest and it's the most youAnd when you're being the most you there is no more good or bad

11:41 And there's no more question of does this deserve to exist in the worldHowever when you are writing and you are purely inThe craftsman state the state ofBeing in your bag of tricks your toolkitFully in a meshed in trying to craft a hit

12:03 I'm gonna write the perfect song and sing it the perfect way and have the perfect mixAll of those things to me

12:12 Spit in the face of why you're even doing it. It's like the world already has a lot of thatIt doesn't have a lot of youAnd whether or not your successful is a completely different story because that ultimately means a lot of people like youAnd maybe they don't that's something I'm trying to come to terms with too isI know I have my people out there.

12:34 I just got to find them But at the same time maybe I don't have enough to beI don't know maroon five or somethingNot no hate I like I like a lot of the reason um but

12:49 That that's just the way it is you know like that there's like there's a democracy of

12:56 Who gets the listeners or whatever and maybe the way your brain works isn't the wayThat a lot of people's brain works are just the majority of people's brain worksAnd so the music that you output with your weird brain doesn't connect with other people's weird brain because it's just different kinds of weirdHoweverI think back to when I did acting classes in high school

13:23 And the moment that I started to love acting was when I read a book by StanislavskiThis Russian acting teacher and the moment that it clicked was one he used Socratic dialogue which I'm such a sucker for because Socrates is the goat listen to my audio bookYes, I have an audio book. It's free.

13:42 I thinkIf it's not it's it's in a lot of libraries nowSo yes, Scoobert Doobert reads the apology by Plato Um, but anyway Stanislavski he was talking abouttrue acting and it isintertaining it just byThe pure voyeurism of it

14:04 And he demonstrated to the class a man watching the television or something like that

14:11 And he was so honest in his depiction of it. There was no cartoonishness. There was no tri-heartThere was no exaggerated facial gestures. There was simply beingfully immersed in the flow state of the most mundane actAnd the audience was enraptBecause he was truly in itI feel that way with music too.

14:39 If you're truly yourselfI think it's just inherently attractive And if you clear away the things that get in between you and yourself

14:52 Like not being able to play well enough or record well enough or any of the things that are just likeminimum bars to entryYou got to get over those in order to get to the next step.

15:03 So you stop thinking about it so hardAnd then you just beYeah, sure people need to give you the time of dayPeople might not have thought that that performance is really good if they weren't ready to watch a performance Or if he wasn't known as the great teacher some branding all that said thoughIt'sIt's aboutBeingPeople are entertained by others that are able to reach that plane of existence

15:37 And it is fleeting. It is ephemeralBut it is worth itAnd youCreatorAre also worth it. It doesn't matter how many people agreeIf you reach that plane you've done it we thank you make moreWe need more people up thereBecause it's not about success. That is success.

16:04 It's that feeling And sharing it and hoping others to get up that mountain and then climbing the next highest peakThat's what it's all aboutIf you want to hear my silly music about shrimp burritos and Heffalumps and WoozlesYou can go to scoobertdoobert.pizza and give it a listenIf you enjoyed this podcast

16:34 Maybe found a little motivational you have a friend. They wanted to give him a little pep talkYeah, sure itAnd if you could rate this podcast five stars would deeply appreciate itBecause that's another part of this equationYou can make it and i've had some friends that have made some absolute bopsSome absolute like wow

17:03 If some people heard this that might change all of the music they will always makeBecause it was so genre bending and interesting and so themThat it would have just been inherentlyInfluential and then they just never released itStill to this day like 10 years later, butDon't do that

17:31 Anyway, I gotta get out this microphone. I'm getting weird have a good night and i'll see you next week everybody